She robbed me!

...of a good story. The car gave me 28 days of trouble-free running, then on the 29th day, she told me she wasn't going anywhere.

Over the next few days I poked around, testing stuff. Spark's okay. Engine's turning over. Got gas. Should start.

Got gas?

Well, why does the gas tank sound empty when I thump it? See, this would have been a good story: "I checked this, I checked that...and it was... (dramatic pause) ...out of gas."

Nope. True, there was about a gallon and a half in the tank (and a small hole, which I didn't patch properly the first time). But after I patched the hole and threw in a few gallons...nope.

Fuel pump robbed me of a good punchline.