It was a Saturday. I'm surprised no one noticed when it happened, for we had a Private with detailed inside knowledge prowling the Armory and its grounds with a smug smile upon his countenance.
He shared this knowledge with one and all, singly or in groups, and he caught me unawares as I was toiling at some chore or other: "If you don't see me tomorrow," he began, a beatific smile on his mug, "you'll know what happened. The Lord is calling us home!" He started trying to save my life.
I nodded politely, hoping he would Rapture his ass right then and there and leave his car and wallet behind. No. No, he had to explain that his super-special knowledge was utterly correct, and this took maybe 10 minutes of my life which I shall never have again.
He finally wandered off, trying to save lives. I forgot all about him.
Until the next morning, when he wasn't so smug.
Apparently the world ended--and Gawd didn't want him.
The Protection Racket
1 hour ago