CANCER CURED!!!!

...so says one Chris Collins, a noted medical expert genius moron running for Congress in New York.

Indeed, he says that because of all the amazing and expensive medical  breakthroughs in the last 10 years, "People now don’t die from prostate cancer, breast cancer and some of the other things."

Because of implantable defibrillators! Stents! Neural stimulators! Tricorders!

So he wants to kill off Obamacare. No one needs it, you see. Like me, 2 years ago this month. I had no idea that there was a bad-type carcinoma growing in my kidney, just waiting to metastasize and infect the rest of me with killer cancers.

If I'd had an implantable defibrillator, I NEVER WOULD HAVE CAUGHT CANCER! It's all my fault for not thinking ahead, you know.

So...why do I hate Republicans?