Clint Eastwood's an idiot.

Clinty says this is a "sad time in history." He's decided that he's okay with der Hair Fuehrer's racism, because it wasn't racism when Clinty was growing up.

 

Clint, you know what's a sad time in history?

 

--being a world-famous black woman who can't sleep in the hotel where the just performed.

--having Frank Sinatra browbeat the hotel manager for a room...only to have the hotel management burn all the bedding, right down to the mattress, as soon as you're out, because a black woman slept there.

 

-- "blacks only" water fountains.

 

--"separate but equal" schools that aren't equal.

 

--three white kids murdered and burned in their car for helping black people register to vote.

 

--black people being hanged for trying to vote.

 

--black churches firebombed.

"Get over it."

"When I grew up, those things weren't called racist."

 

 No? Maybe not by you. Things people were able to get away with when you grew up are unacceptable now. You need to "get over it. "

 

But maybe your Dirty Harry was right: "A man's gotta know his limitations."

 

 I think we just found the extent of yours.

George W. Bush, The Failure

...or the Overwhelming Success, as far as Osama bin Laden and Al Qaeda are concerned.

Osama should have commissioned a medal for George Bush, who turned out to be his unwitting point man in the United States.

Were it not for Fratboy and his neoconservative lackeys and the media toads who whipped Iraq from unimportant Middle Eastern backwater to OMG EVIL EVIL EVIL!!!!!111!!!!, Osama's terrorist mission couldn't have succeeded.

Fortunately for him, Fratboy did everything Al Qaeda could ever have wanted. He handed Osama an enormous victory by invading Iraq and toppling Saddam: now Al Qaeda could enter Iraq. Fratboy took their hat and coat, polished their shoes, served them coffee, and paid the tab in cash and blood.

Mission Accomplished.

Edited to add a comment I scribbled elsewhere. Liked it too much to just leave it there:

Time to round the chuckleheads up, load 'em on C-47s wearing whatever they're already wearing when they're nabbed, slap a chute on 'em, and Operation Dope Drop their asses somewhere generally close to somewhere in Iraq. Since Cheney will be there, make it an undisclosed location. He'll like that.

Give General George Dubya a Patton hat, make McCain't his tactical advisor. AND...do them like they did the troops: insufficient armor and equipment for the job. Maybe they'll get lucky and find a cache of stuff abandoned by the Iraqis before they ran off.

McCain't and Cheney can grimace at 'em. Dubya can paint 'em something purty.

Hell, we can even call it "D Day"...for "Dumbasses." If they get captured...well, we're not at war in Iraq, so they're not POW's (sorry, McCain't, I know you like the martyr gig), and we don't know diddly cupcake about 'em.

"What? He says he's George Bush? He painted you a flower? I see. You want to trade him for who? Bieber? What's a Bieber?"

No Longer Selling Duck Crap...

That's right. This blog will no longer sell any "Duck Dynasty" merchandise.

We made this decision just to piss off the fundies, teabaggers, and the like.

Happy HOLIDAYS!

--The Management.

Song of the Day: Awesome young woman busts up some Goppers.

Awwww, yeah. (more here)

Funny how she was such a threat that it took FOUR deputies to get her out of there.

Fark republicans.

"Awe" and "Heroes" tags for the young lady who busted 'em up, all the other tags for the scumbags.

Pic of the Day: Hey.

Pass it on.

Pic of the Day: Snowden

It's fun watching Glenn Greenwald and his pet genius' implosion. Snowden's hysterics over the NSA and FISA might have been warranted...if we didn't already know about them.

Bob Cesca has been doing some heavy lifting to find what's important and what isn't in all this.

Charles Johnson at Little Green Footballs blew holes in Snowden and Greenwald almost from the beginning of this non-scandal.

Nothingburger. Formerly a main course of the teabaggers trying to swamp Obama in scandals (Fast & Furious gun-running, Bengazi, the IRS investigating teabaggers who want tax-exempt status).

Apparently Greenwald and his supporters have discovered the savory emptiness of nothingburger, as well.

Pic of the Day: Right where he wants them.

The wingnuts just can't stop themselves from doing stupid things. When Nobel Peace Prize Recipient President Obama mentioned skeet shooting at Camp David a few weeks ago, the moronati cranked up their conspiracy generators and grumbled about how this makes him a racist, he's lying, there's no proof he ever did any skeet shooting. A very stupid woman from Tennessee doubted his claim and challenged him to a shootin' match.

It's amusing to think that Obama and his minions were trolling for wingnuts, being as how the fishing has been pretty good lately and they just keep hitting the bait no matter how many hooks they've already swallowed. Part of the skill is in letting them come to the bait, nice and easy...wait for it...then set the hook and bring 'em in.

As a Superbowl weekend gift, the White House released this August, 2012 photo of the Fisherman-in-Chief cross-training at Camp David. The wingnuts did not disappoint. They hit this bait just as hard, claiming it's a Photoshop job ("ya kin tell by the PIXELS, man! The PIXELS DON'T LIE!!"), all part of his continuing ploy to take are gunz.

Meanwhile, I imagine the planning stages of Operation Skeetgate might have looked like this:

Hook, line and sinker.

It can't be much longer before the Three Morons of Bengazigate (McCain, his poodle, and their 'deeply-troubled' female replacement for Joe Lieberman hold a press conference demanding a briefing on Skeetgate while skipping the briefing. Darrell Issa, in a desperate bid to seem important, will investigate and hold hearings on the matter, and all of this will get us through February.

Pic of the Day: Poodle.

Faithful lapdogs are important to politicians who want to seem influential. George Bush had British Prime Minister Tony "Bush's Poodle" Blair. Senator John McCain has South Carolina's Lindsey Graham.

This poodle stood with McCain and another idiot (The Replacement Lieberman) a few months ago to grandstand for the media, demanding briefings on the Horrible Bengazi Tragedy while other Senate members were attending a briefing on the Horrible Bengazi Tragedy.

Good dog.

Pic of the Day: Too Bad We Can't Clone Sherman...

...and send an army of him out to deal with the sudden influx of stupid people screeching for secession in the wake of Obama's massive landslide ass-whipping victorious crushing beat-down of...uh...that loser. Can't remember his name, but it was last week.

(credit: dengre) You whiny little shits tried secession about 150 years ago. This fellow bulldozed some of your real estate. You lost, but never learned your lesson.

Let's put it this way: you don't get to leave just because you don't get your fucking way. Too many of you idiots live in states that take in more in federal money than they pay out in taxes (and yet YOU leeches bitch about paying too much). This is a democratic republic, not an autocracy, not a kindergarten sandbox.

I'd say we pick one such state and let 'em go, then give all the whiny losers in the remaining ones a few weeks to move there, but more importantly to give the intelligent people who know better time to move out. Build a wall or fence around it, cut all the roads and bridges, cut the power lines and any other infrastructure. No more federal money. Any federal property--especially military bases--gets bombed into uselessness. If an oil pipeline or other resource runs into the former state, reroute it.

Imagine that. A conservative paradise--you could call it Reaganistan (we Americans will call you Dumbfuckistan). No more FEMA, no more taxes to the IRS, no Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, Obamacare, and you can put allll the old white men in office you want. You can set up a "fuck you, I got mine" economy of your own.

Assuming you realize that you fucked up (being wingnuts and all) and beg to be let back in, first thing is that you have to pay back, with interest, all the federal money you've ever glommed on to, all the way back to the LAST time you threw a tantrum in the 1860s. Clean slate.

An alternative would be to go through the list of goobers who signed those pro-secession petitions--some 500,000 goobers across all 50 states--strip them of their citizenship and deport them. Don't know where they'd go, though. I can't imagine a country that would have them.

OR...you dumbasses could tough it out and grow the hell up. The country doesn't just belong to you.

Song of the Week: Landslide (Smashing Pumpkins)

Dedicated to the losing sore losers who lost (and who are still trying to understand how their wishful thinking and massive piles of cash failed to manipulate reality into a more compliant shape)--and to those who freaked out and made asses of themselves--Victoria "America died" Jackson; Donald "revolt!!" Trump; Ted "crying tears of blood" Nugent; that idiot girl in Georgia who said she's moving to Australia only to be advised that Australia won't have her; the Libertarian dork who's vowed to un-friend, disown, hate and be a dick to any and all Democrats on his Facebook, in his family, and in every social situation from now on; and especially the billionaires who blew metric tons of cash and got...NOTHING!!!! (bwahahahaha)

Not the bittersweet Fleetwood Mac original, but the annoying, grating Billy Corgan's cover.

Fifty-One States?

Puerto Ricans voted Tuesday on an important issue of their own: whether to join the United States, go independent, or establish a sovereign free association.

Statehood won, but not without division--the pro-statehood governor was kicked out.

His replacement is planning a constitutional assembly in 2014.

I didn't know how a state joins the union--good thing there's an Internet!

Update: Excellent breakdown of the situation at Daily Kos: Puerto Rico--Statehood and Status.

Florida's Sensible Party Wins!

In Florida, there were some ballot items that were almost as important as the presidential race.

The pissy wingnuts in the Legislature, Governor Scumbag, and their masters the Koch brothers were hoping to oust three FL Supreme Court Justices who ruled against the state's efforts to block Obama's Affordable Care Act.

Governor Scumbag can't fire the justices directly, but he was hoping to use Florida's "merit retention" to get the voters to axe the three so he could appoint some more compliant justices. I hadn't known that this was linked to the Koch scumbags, but it's not surprising.

At any rate, we the voters ruled that the justices get to keep thwarting the Tallahassee dirtbags.


The other good news is that a whole mess of wingnut state constitutional amendments failed--and they failed badly. These were pretty standard teabagger items--exemption from the Affordable Care Act, an attempt to lower the wall separating church and state, capping the state's ability to collect taxes, and the obligatory anti-abortion stuff.

In two years, that hairless teabagger grifting fraudster will be out as governor. Nice to know that at least some of his agenda has been crushed.

His teabagger pals, as expected, are gonna double down. Losing didn't teach them a thing.

Let The WHINING Begin!

Salon has served up a list of the top 20 whiniest, crybabiest, pearl-cluthingest, fainting-couchiest sore losers in the Twitterverse from last night's handing of the asses.

I saw a few bits of Twitterrhea just after NBC called the election for Obama in which MittBot supporters despair for America now. One favorite bit was seeing them crying over the electoral votes vs. popular--at one point, the MittBot was slightly up in the popular vote and the Twitterers were screeching, "HEY! Romney won the popular vote!! The Electoral College should be struck down!! OBAMA LOOOOOST!!!! WAAAAAAAAH!" Then Obama's numbers got updated and *poof* those screechers filled their diapers.

Time to whip out the diapers and pacifiers.

Update: You wanna see an epic freak-out and meltdown of a particularly unpleasant schmuck who's announced that he's going to unfriend/shun/abuse any and all Democrats in his FaceBook/family/friends/environment? I direct your attention to this guy, stamping his little Libertarian feet and screeching like an emo teenager in what Anne Laurie at Balloon Juice calls a "squid cloud of butthurt"; I won't link directly to him, though. He might SHUN me. 9_9   Here's a taste:

I strongly urge all other libertarians to do the same. Are you married to someone who voted for Obama, have a girlfriend who voted ‘O’. Divorce them. Break up with them without haste. Vow not to attend family functions, Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas for example, if there will be any family members in attendance who are Democrats…
If I meet a Democrat in my life from here on out, I will shun them immediately. I will spit on the ground in front of them, being careful not to spit in their general direction so that they can’t charge me with some stupid little nuisance law. Then I’ll tell them in no un-certain terms: “I do not associate with Democrats. You all are communist pigs, and I have nothing but utter disgust for you. Sir/Madam, you are scum of the earth.” Then I’ll turn and walk the other way.

"Squid cloud of butthurt" indeed! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

Just felt like writing it again.

OBAMAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

...and now 4 more years of teabag tears. Bwahahahaha!

So which will the teabaggers do first? The circular firing squad, where they turn on each other...

...or the self-destructive, emo approach?

Glad to see that Allen "War Criminal" West lost his bid for reelection. Deadbeat Dad Joe "owes $100,000 in child support" Walsh lost.

Bachmann's only 400-ish votes ahead of her Democratic challenger. [unfortunately, she won. Pity. The funniest thing I read about her was some crying conservative claiming that ol' Crazy Eyes coulda beat Obama. She couldn't even beat ROMNEY.]

The Party of Rape faction didn't do well, either--"Legitimate Rape" Akin lost. "Gawd intended" Mourdock lost. Still waiting to see how the rest of those insane bastards fared.

[UPDATE--speaking of insane bastards, Roy "10 Commandments" Moore got his old job back as chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court. He says he's not bringing the big stone 10C's monument with him.]

[UPDATE--speaking of circular firing squads, the first name has been selected, and it's...Chris Christie!!]

Tell it to the next hurricane...

Bunch of idiots chanting "USA! USA! USA!" shouting down a guy heckling the ShitMitt about climate change....



All that hot air and wishful thinking should deflect the next hurricane or other natural disaster. Just put 'em all right where Jim "The Hurricane Will Hit HERE" Cantore shows up.

Pic of the Day: MittBot Explained!

Just sayin'.

Pic of the Day: Bee-Essin' MittBot

Obama called it and the professional pearl-clutchers of the wingnutsphere proceeded to the fainting couches, the poor little darlings.

“You know, kids have good instincts,” Obama offered. “They look at the other guy and say, ‘Well, that’s a bullshitter, I can tell.’”...

CRY, wingnuts, CRY.

Bonus Obama bodyslam for the Ayn Rand worshippin' Granny Starver:

Ayn Rand is one of those things that a lot of us, when we were 17 or 18 and feeling misunderstood, we’d pick up. Then, as we get older, we realize that a world in which we’re only thinking about ourselves and not thinking about anybody else, in which we’re considering the entire project of developing ourselves as more important than our relationships to other people and making sure that everybody else has opportunity – that that’s a pretty narrow vision.

Pic of the Day--Romney Gets Pwned

Obama roped this dope at last night's debate.

He kinda looks like a real-life Elmer Fudd.

Pic of the Day: Ryan, Intellectual Heavyweight

I've heard people claiming that Granny Starver is the intellectual hero of the Republicans.

Given how much of an empty suit he is, and how his numbers don't add up, this is absolutely correct.

He summarizes the Republican party perfectly.

And turn that goddamn cap around, you douchebag! You look like you've been sitting in the back room at Gumby's Pizza, waiting to go on your next delivery run.