Radio FM list--newer

A month or so ago, I posted a list of local FM stations from 2005, showing the unholy amount of *spit* country and religious infestation on the local airwaves. Now I've made up a new listing for 2009 and sorted them together:

2005 -- 88.1 -- NPR
2009 -- 88.1 -- NPR

2005 -- 88.5 -- preachers
2009 -- 88.5 -- preachers

2005 -- 88.9 -- preachers
2009 -- ?

2005 -- 89.5 -- preachers
2009 -- 89.5 -- preachers

2005 -- 90.1 -- preachers
2009 -- ?

2005 -- 90.5 -- preachers
2009 -- 90.5 -- preachers

2005 -- 91.1 -- preachers
2009 -- ?

2005 -- 91.3 -- classical
2009 -- 91.3 -- classical

2005 -- 91.7 -- preachers
2009 -- 91.7 -- preachers

2009 -- 92.9 -- r&b/soul

2009 -- 93.3 -- r&b

2005 -- 94.1 -- adult contemptible
2009 -- 94.1 -- adult contemptible

2009 -- 94.7 -- praise 95 preachers

2005 -- 94.9 -- country
2009 -- 94.9 -- country

2005 -- 95.7 -- preachers (fake rock)

2005 -- 96.1 -- The Rocket classic rock
2009 -- 96.1 -- The Rocket classic rock

2005 -- 96.5 -- light rock, r&b, homogenous ugliness ("light mix"?)
2009 -- 96.5 -- country

2005 -- 97.5 -- wabb, pop crap
2009 -- 97.5 -- wabb, pop crap

2005 -- 98.1 -- sports crap
2009 -- 98.1 -- country

2005 -- 98.7 -- country
2009 -- 98.7 -- country

2005 -- 99.5 -- classic rock (fort walton)
2009 -- 99.5 -- classic rock (fort walton)

2005 -- 99.9 -- country
2009 -- 99.9 -- light crappy mix

2005 -- 100.7 -- adult contemptible
2009 -- 100.7 -- adult contemptible

2005 -- 101.5 -- playlist rock (tk-101)
2009 -- 101.5 -- playlist rock (tk-101)

2005 -- 102.7 -- country
2009 -- 102.7 -- country

2009 -- 104.1 -- "jack" mix contemptible

2005 -- 105.1 -- moldies
2009 -- 105.1 -- sunny cheerful/nostalgic pop

2005 -- 105.7 -- sunny cheerful/nostalgic pop

2009 -- 106.1 -- magic soul r&b

2005 -- 106.5 -- moldies

2005 -- 107.3 -- adult contemptible
2009 -- 107.3 -- moldies

So we lost an adult contemptible and replaced it with country, as if there weren't enough horseturds in the pasture. We also ditched the sports channel and replaced IT with country. BUT...we got rid of one pile of horseturds and replaced it with light mix, so the evil country cabal only gets one net fake-leather cowboy boot (or is that a "bewt"?) in the door.

So now we're at 5 preacher stations, 5 country, 3 rock stations, a bunch of offensively inoffensive stuff, and NPR.

I miss "Z-ROCK" from my Tallahassee days. It was a national "surperstation" network and they played anything and everything, as long as it rocked. About 6 months after I moved there in 1995, some business genius changed the format to "house" (dance club) crap, then lightweight r&b, then something occasionally close to listenable rock.

I'll always have my iPod.

No Sense of Irony.

Every weekday morning at around 7:30, a sort-of local pastor of a Methodist church gets a 1-minute blurb called "Perceptions." I dug around a little to find that this is a national "outreach" thing intended to lure people to their local churches, yadda yadda.

www.perceptionsoutreach.com/Testimonials.htm

He tells a little (scripted) story, then gives the context that brings "meaning" to the "message." In one last week, he used some trick by Penn and Teller to make a religious point (pretty funny, given Penn's vocal atheism).

This sort-of local pastor had this offering this morning--first he told this well-worn joke:

"One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated waiting for the pilot to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind; the pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle. The copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with sunglasses.

At first, the passengers do not react thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. After a few minutes though, the engines start revving, and the airplane begins moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness. They start whispering among themselves and look desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Yet, the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

When the plane has less than twenty feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once. At the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and tells the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're all going to die!"

*sort-of-local pastor adds his irritating fake chuckle here*

...then he adds the "perception" bit (paraphrased):

"Flying blind. When we fly blind, we run the risk of going the wrong way and making the wrong decisions."

I wish I could remember the rest of that paraphrased bit; it really added to the unintended irony of his position.

Crappy Playlist radio

There's no better reason to have an MP3 player than the fact that commercial radio sucks.

Back in 2005, I got bored and decided to scan the FM band to see what sort of crap was out there:

Radio--FM:
88.1 NPR
88.5 religious
88.9 religious
89.5 religious
90.1 religious
90.5 religious
91.1 religious
91.3 classical
91.7 religious
94.1 goody-goody whitebread rock
94.9 country crap
95.7 religious (fake rock)
96.1 classic rock
96.5 light rock, r&b, homogenous ugliness ("light mix"?)
97.5 wabb, pop crap
98.1 sports crap
98.7 country crap
99.5 classic rock (fort walton)
99.9 country crap
100.7 adult contemptible
101.5 playlist rock (tk-101)
102.7 country crap
105.1 moldies
105.7 sunny 105.7--nostalgic pop
106.5 moldies
107.3 adult contemptible

I need to run it again to see what's changed--I'm pretty sure there are another 15 country stations now, since that crap's all over the dial.

The only 3 stations I listened to were NPR, 99.5, and 101.5. I despise country with every last cell of my heart. I'm an atheist, so the religious stuff doesn't appeal. Sports? Nope.

I got tired of NPR and their beg-a-thons and their smug stupidity (and their utterly whitebread attempts to bring humor into the boring business of reading the news).

I got REALLY tired of 99.5 and 101.5, the only two reasonably hard-rock stations in the area, because they play the same set of songs every single day. Different order, same damn songs. Did you know that Van Halen only had three songs? They are "Eruption/Running with the Devil"; "Unchained"; and "Dreams." Wanna hear "Ice Cream Man"? Maybe you can get a request in, assuming someone is near a phone, has the ringer on, and bothers to answer it. Or you can do what I did.

Then there are the ads. Do we REALLY need three "Geico" ads in a single 5-minute break? Who thinks that freaking lizard with the bad accent is actually FUNNY? Yeah, no one's making you listen. Turn it off, change the station, or do what I did.

I shelled out for an iPod Mini (just before Apple discontinued them) and eliminated all that racket in favor of my own. I found several dozen missing Van Halen songs, nearly 200 missing Rush songs ("Tom Sawyer," "Limelight," and "The Spirit of Radio" are all TK-101 will play, apparently). I get to listen to what I want to (lately it's the Skeptics' Guide to the Universe podcast), and to hell with idiot marketers and their talking lizards.

Over the years, I've come up with my own killer playlist idea, in case I ever own a radio station and want it to actually kick ass.

First, ditch the corporate pricks and their notions of what to play. Approach the project with the idea that ANYTHING on an album could get played. If it needs to be beeped, fine. If it's unlistenable crap, fine--take it off the list. Pare each album down to the good stuff if you have to--but put as much on the playlist as possible.

Second: Once a track is played, it is off the list for days or weeks, unless it's newer stuff that needs more airplay. Once you've played "Tom Sawyer," there are still 6 more songs on "Moving Pictures." But don't play those right away! Spread them out. There are 24 studio albums and more live albums than you can stuff into a 4-gig iPod. Pick stuff that's from different albums!

Third: Don't play the same sort of stuff back to back, or the same style of rock. If my iPod can throw out "Sugar" by System of a Down, then follow that with "Superunknown" (Soundgarden), "Bad Moon Rising" (Creedence), "Superman Song" (Crash Test Dummies) then some disc-spinner at a desk can do it.

Fourth: TAKE REQUESTS! Answer the damn phone. Let your audience have some say in what gets played--then they might be more willing to put up with a few minutes of ads.