So now, we roll ahead to 2017 and my long-unseen Dad #1. He would come over from 45 minutes away and we'd drive around town, looking at places he hadn't seen in decades...there was a Winn-Dixie here...our family owned and operated this dairy...climbed that tree in the 1940s. Drove past my grandparents' house; he died in 1977, she in 2000.
I did some house math at one point and learned that we'd lived 9 blocks from them for a few months. In our present house, had I known of them, I could have spent some time with my grandfather before his end and two whole decades with my grandmother.
"Out of sight, out of mind" doesn't really help, there.
Past some of our former homes...this shopping center used to be a pecan orchard...so-and-so family owned everything north of thius road (and so-and-so-road is named for them)...he arrested Black folks in this neighborhood, hookers in that one...in one visit, I met a step-sister I couldn't remember. We went to most of the local cemetaries so he could visit old friends and relatives, more people I didn't know anymore, if I ever did. As we wound up the ride, he'd head for the local scrap recycler to offload a bunch of beer cans--and he'd split the takings with me. From there, we hit lunch at Po'Folks, every single time.
Being around him was just like at the various schools; I was the New Kid again, outside. Even more so, since it looks like most of the family on his grandmother's side are right-wing fundies, orange-boy supporters. They all go to the same local megachurch. Outside more for the family stuff, not being the token liberal in most social groups. I'm used to that.
Hell, both my exes are/were conservative--and so was the one woman at a former job who showed some interest in me. I kept things friendly, since there's no way I'm getting stuck with another wingnut. Apparently that's all there are, hereabouts. Single is much quieter. Peaceful.
Father #1 was like that--scump supporter, at least. Not particularly fundie. Definitely racist, though. At one of those Po'Folks lunches, he did the look-around white folks do when they're going to say something racist: "I'm just glad they didn't elect that"--look around--"n***er," when we were discussing the recent gubernatorial elections that put a wannabe nazi into power. Funny how he was a cop, but he's okay with mobsters in power.
Lost touch with him when Covid came around, after January 2020. Learned a few months ago that he died nearly a year ago. I didn't know him well enough with the handful of visits, a few hours at a time, to miss him. "Out of sight, out of mind" strikes again.
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